Today…

Dear Ava,

Eleven years ago our lives changed. Today, eleven years ago we found out you had cancer. A year ago today I was in my favourite place in the world – Paris, when it hit me what day it was. I was walking the most beautiful city in the world and I was crying because the realisation of the date, that it had been ten years. You know I that I don’t let myself be sad for you, except for one day a year, but last year I let myself be sad for the significance of that anniversary.

Ava you were so small, so innocent for such a major illness. I know I’ll never know why it had to be you, but I still question God on it. I’m thankful we had you for almost 4 years.

I miss you ungodly amounts, and I love you.

See you later, Ava.

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Here we go…

Dear Ava,

Hello, munchkin. Here we go, it’s May, and so it starts. May and June, hardest time of the year for me. I want to fast forward these two months every year. Fast forward to July so we can celebrate your life on your birthday.

You know, whoever said that we eventually get over the death of a loved one had to have been lying. I will never get over it. It’s not something anyone can get over. It’s just a new reality we’ve all had to adapt to. Perhaps missing you gets easier, but not “getting over” you leaving us.

Love you, cutie.

See you later, Ava.